Shifting Gears
By Ellie Kirk © 2008

I knew something was up when I caught Aunt Marge emptying her closet.

Gram and Aunt Marge have been together forever. Dad told me they both drove jeeps during the Korean War—that’s how they met. When the war was over, Gram came home and married Grampa. I’m supposed to look just like him—short, stocky, dark hair, dark eyes.

Right after Dad was born, Grampa walked out and didn’t come back. Gram asked Aunt Marge to move in, and Marge has been there ever since. I could never figure out why neither of them got married. I’ve seen pictures from back in the day, and they were both kind of cute.

On the “empty closet” day, I stopped by their house after school to fix a leaky faucet. I knocked on the front door, then let myself in. The smell of brownies made me drool a little. Gram’s brownies are the reason I weigh enough to play fullback.

Laughter came from the second floor, and I ran upstairs. Aunt Marge and Gram were in Aunt Marge’s room, tossing clothes onto the bed.

“Hey! What’s going on?” I said. “Are you getting ready for a yard sale?”

Gram and Aunt Marge acted as if I had caught them taking money out of a donation box. They spun around and started talking really fast, both at the same time.

Then Gram calmed down a little, shushed Aunt Marge, and said, “How old are you, John? Fifteen?”

“Sixteen, Gram. I just got my driver’s license. Aunt Marge is teaching me how to drive a stick shift, remember?”

Gram nodded. “Oh, of course. My goodness, where does the time go?” She paused, then cleared her throat. “Sweetheart, you’d better have a seat. Aunt Marge and I need to talk with you.”

This was getting weird. Aunt Marge couldn’t be moving out! After Mom died, Gram and Aunt Marge helped Dad take care of me. They’re my family. I sat on the edge of Aunt Marge’s rocking chair and picked at a hangnail, the way I used to do when I was a little kid.

Aunt Marge said, “You know Alice and I have been together for a long time. When I moved in with her, after the war, we decided to make it look like we had separate rooms so our guests wouldn’t feel … uncomfortable.”

“But we’ve decided it’s time to move her clothes into my closet,” Gram said.

I shook my head. “I don’t get it. Are you getting a new roommate? Is that why you’re going to share Gram’s room, Aunt Marge?”

Gram looked like she had bitten a lemon. “No, John, it’s nothing like that.” She paused for a long time, then took Aunt Marge’s hand. “Johnny, Aunt Marge and I are … We’re more than friends.”

It took me a minute to get what she meant. When I figured it out, the floor took a slow roll under my feet. Whatever I had been expecting, it wasn’t this.

“Are you okay, John?” Aunt Marge reached for my hand, then drew back. “I guess we should have told you sooner … or maybe we shouldn’t have told you at all.” She looked sad enough to cry, and so did Gram.

I couldn’t stand seeing them look like that, but I didn’t know what to do. Finally, I asked, “Does Dad know?”

Gram shrugged. “Well, we’ve always kept it quiet … This sort of thing was frowned upon up when your father was growing up, and he might have been taken away from us. But your father’s no fool. He probably put two and two together a while ago, even if he’s never asked us.”

“But pretty soon, it’s not going to be a secret at all,” Aunt Marge said. “Things are different enough now for Alice and me to let everyone know. Our fiftieth anniversary is in two weeks, and we’re going to celebrate by having a commitment ceremony.” She smiled at Gram, and Gram looked at me and nodded.

My eyes opened so wide I thought they were going to pop out of my head. “You’re getting married?”

“Sort of,” Gram said. “It’s as close as we can get.”

This was going from weird to worse. The guys on the football team were going to have a ball with this. They’d find out. This was sure to be in the papers. And I was counting on getting an ROTC scholarship. Would that fall through if they knew about Gram and Aunt Marge?

Without thinking, I blurted, “Can’t you wait another year, until I go away to college?”

As soon as the words popped out, I wanted to cram them back into my mouth. Gram and Aunt Marge looked as though I had slapped them across the face. But it was too late to take it back so I just sat there, frozen.

Gram took a deep breath, and I thought she was going to ream me out. Instead, she said, “We know this could make things awkward for you, for a little while. But sweetheart, Marge and I have hidden who we are for too long. We just aren’t willing to keep it a secret anymore, like it’s something to be ashamed of.”

At that moment, a car horn honked out front. “That’s Dad,” I said, relieved at the chance to escape before I made another stupid comment. “I’d better go. I’ll call you, okay?” It sounded lame, but I couldn’t help it.

I bolted down the stairs and almost made it to the front door when Gram called out, “John, hold up a minute. Don’t run out on me, please.”

She came down after me, then stopped on the last step. We stood eye to eye.

“I wish you would tell me what you’re thinking.” She paused and then grinned, although she looked sad at the same time. “You know, your grampa hated it when I would say that to him. I teased him about it all the time, always giving him pennies and asking for his thoughts.”

It was strange. Gram actually sounded as if she missed Grampa, and that didn’t make sense at all.

“I don’t get it,” I said. “Why did you marry Grampa in the first place? It’s not like you loved him, or anything. You couldn’t have, not if you loved Aunt Marge.”

Gram sighed and shook her head. “John, I did love your Grampa. He was a real charmer, and he tried his best to make a home for us. But he was a wanderer. My mother said trying to get him to settle down was like trying to keep lightning in a jar. I guess the realities of being a husband, and then a father, were too much for him. So he ran away from us, and I ran to Marge. And now I couldn’t imagine life without her.

“But part of me still loves your grampa. I know it doesn’t make sense … but there really aren’t any rules when it comes to the people we love.”

It must have been hard for Gram to tell me that, but at that moment, I just wanted her to stop talking. I needed to go home and try to make sense of it.

Dad saved me by honking the horn again. I took a step away from Gram. “I have to go. I’ll see you later.” I dashed out the door and sprinted down the walk as if tigers were after me.

I must have looked shaken up when I got into the pickup. Dad stared at me for a couple of seconds, and said, “Anything wrong, John? Are Mom and Aunt Marge okay?”

I nodded but kept my mouth shut. After another couple of seconds, he shrugged, and we pulled away. But he knew something was up.

On the ride home I kept thinking about what Gram and Aunt Marge had said, but I couldn’t wrap my head around it. We were pulling into our driveway when I slapped my hand against my forehead. “My book bag! It’s at Gram’s house. I have homework that’s due tomorrow—we have to go back.”

Dad sighed and pulled the pickup back onto the street.

A few minutes later, I knocked on Gram’s front door and went in.

“Hey! It’s just me!”

Nobody answered. My book bag lay on the floor by the stairs. I grabbed it, then glanced down the hall to the kitchen. A plate of Gram’s brownies sat on the table.

I went back and picked the biggest one, still warm from the oven. Gram had made those brownies for me, but I had run out before they were done. And I hadn’t fixed the faucet, either. I felt like a rat.

I took a bite of the brownie, looked out the back window, and stopped chewing.

Aunt Marge and Gram were in the yard. They were wearing floppy straw hats, gardening gloves, and matching green coveralls. Gram brushed a smudge of dirt from Aunt Marge’s nose, and they both laughed.

Then she rested her head against Aunt Marge’s shoulder. Gram fit right under her chin. They stood like that for a long time, and the looks on their faces reminded me of how I felt the first time I kissed Kayla Thorpe under the bleachers.

I finished the brownie and went back to the pickup. Something had shifted a little inside me. I still couldn’t talk about it with Dad, but seeing Gram and Aunt Marge like that—they really loved each other. Even I could see it.

But day after day, I put off calling them. I was too embarrassed to talk to them. All my life they had taken care of me and baked me brownies and never asked for anything. And the first time they really needed me, I treated them like strangers. Or enemies. Just because I was scared of what people would say. Not only was I a rat—I was a cowardly rat.

The invitation to the commitment ceremony showed up a week later. Dad held it out when I got home from school. “Did you know about this?”

I nodded. “Yeah. For a little while.”

“I guess that explains why you’ve been walking around like a zombie lately.” He tossed the invitation onto the kitchen table. “You were going to find out sooner or later. Maybe I should have said something, but I figured it was for the two of them to tell you. Did I do wrong?”

I looked down at my feet. “Nah, I guess not. I mean, it would have been easier if you had told me, but maybe not better, you know? The guys at school are going to give me grief about it, but Gram and Aunt Marge shouldn’t have to hide who they are. And if I don’t get the ROTC scholarship … well, I can always take out a student loan, right?”

Dad smiled. “Don’t worry about the scholarship. The Army is interested in you, not Gram and Marge. Besides, they served in Korea, remember?” Dad paused, then said, “You’re a good kid, John.”

I winced. “Not that good. I haven’t been very nice to Gram and Aunt Marge lately. But I have an idea that might make up for it, if you could help me pull it off.”

When I was finished telling him what I wanted to do, Dad laughed. “Sure, why not? They’ll get a kick out of it. But we’ll have to make some phone calls.”

He unfolded the invitation, checked the “Joyfully Accept” box with only a little grunt, and handed it to me to mail.

The morning of the commitment ceremony, Dad and I pulled up in front of Gram and Aunt Marge’s house. I honked the horn, then ran up onto the porch and banged on the door. “Your ride’s here!”

Gram opened the door, with Aunt Marge behind her. They were still in their bathrobes.

“You’re going to be late for your own wedding—or whatever it is!” I yelped.

Gram opened her mouth to answer, then looked over my shoulder and saw Dad, standing next to a vintage ’52 Jeep Willys.

Gram started to cry. “It’s just like the ones we used to drive, Marge,” she said, wiping her tears with the sash of her robe.

“Come on,” Aunt Marge said, her voice hoarse with emotion. “Let’s see if we can still fit into our uniforms.”

They dashed back inside. I could hear them laughing and talking as they hurried upstairs.

When they came back, it was as if they had stepped out of a time machine. The uniforms were a little faded and way too tight. Even so, Gram and Aunt Marge looked younger and shinier, as though they were polished.

I walked them to the jeep. “I’m driving. This time around, you get to be chauffeured.”

Still giggling, Gram and Aunt Marge climbed into the cramped back seat. I got behind the wheel and struggled to put the jeep into first. Aunt Marge had tried her best to teach me, but I still wasn’t used to it.

I glanced back at Gram and Aunt Marge. They were holding hands. My face got hot, and I whipped around, concentrating on the stick shift. “I’m having trouble shifting gears,” I mumbled.

Gram reached forward and squeezed my shoulder. “I know, sweetheart,” she said. “You’re doing fine. After a while, you’ll find it’s not that hard. It just takes a little patience—and a lot of love.”

I took a deep breath, then joggled the gearshift. With a gutsy growl, the jeep surged forward.

I leaned back and grinned. Gram was right. It wasn’t so hard, after all.

And it didn’t hurt that I looked cool driving a Willys.

For a crossword puzzle that goes with this story, click here >>

About the Author: Ellie Kirk likes to read, garden, and cook. She lives in southeast Pennsylvania, and travels to the Jersey Shore to collect Cape May Diamonds or to the Pocono Mountains to hike (and catch poison ivy). Some of her favorite things are fresh juicy peaches, the color green, having peppermint tea with her mom, and watching scary movies. She is also a world-champion nap-taker.