Money-Savvy Parents' Corner:
The Money Mission Statement
by Darla Kashian
Last week, my two-year-old snuggled with me in bed, and we plotted our breakfast choices. Her suggestion? “I want a piece of gum.” I quit chewing gum that very day. It’s by example that our children learn habits, good and bad, and gum is something I can live without. So when it comes to setting an example for our kids regarding money, what message do we send?
The exercise of developing a Money Mission Statement is a project that can and should be done as a family. Getting to the Money Mission Statement involves a little work, and it starts by asking a few questions:
- If you had 100 extra dollars, what would you do with it?
- If you could help solve one problem with money, what would that problem be?
- Can you name one cause you care about?
- Can you name one person who could be helped with money?
Now form a statement using the answers you came up with:
The purpose of money in my life is ______________. I value ___________ in my community and wish to improve ___________.
Post your statement where you can revisit your Money Mission and values on a frequent basis. This exercise will help you identify those things that are truly important to you, and you may find yourself more motivated to earn, save, and share your resources.
When families work together on a Money Mission Statement, it can have some very positive outcomes. At one of my Raising Money-Savvy Kids seminars, a family talked about their recent trip abroad and how much the family gained from the adventure. Prior to the trip, the two children were resentful of the sacrifices the family had to make in order to have the experience of traveling abroad. In the course of my seminar, both kids offered suggestions of how to save, as they were highly motivated to embark on another exciting trip and fully understood the commitment required by the entire family. Suddenly, the kids were driving cost-saving measures rather than the parents imposing restrictive spending on the family.
The advantage for parents is that the process of creating a Money Mission Statement can help us redirect spending interests toward family goals and objectives, and beyond our families to the concerns we have for our community. The common teaching tool for parents is the use of the allowance as a way of instilling responsible spending habits in our children. This will also give us an opportunity to talk about our values regarding money with our children.
Keep in mind, this discussion will also raise questions we’d all rather not answer. And depending on the age of your kids, you may have already confronted the challenging question “How much money do you make?” The students who visited me from Anwatin School in Minneapolis last week asked, and because I care very little about that question, I told them. I might not be so forthcoming with my daughter, but I favor a frank discussion.
At a seminar I gave last year, a parent relayed the story of her daughter explaining at school to friends and teachers that they were very poor. The parent realized that a dinner-time discussion about their need for a new car, combined with the common answer to “I want…” (we can’t afford it), resulted in their daughter believing that they were poor. When the teacher phoned to make sure things were OK at home, the parent was embarrassed that their lack of transparency resulted in unnecessary anxiety on the part of her daughter, as well as an unnecessary conversation with her daughter’s teacher.
There are ways to say no. One effective strategy with older children is to reference that Money Mission Statement. For younger children, it’s helpful to answer in ways that transmit your values. For example:
- That snack isn’t healthy.
- Those toys are made in countries that employ children, and we don’t support their treatment of children and families.
- Instead of buying books, we use the library.
Many times, these values statements reinforce the structured conversations about money that have taken place in the family. While your child may not agree with the outcome, your values will be clear to the children through your example and because you gave them a reasoned answer.
Disclosure: The opinions expressed are those of the author and are not necessarily the same as those of RBC Wealth Management. RBC Wealth Management did not assist in the preparation of the material and makes no guarantee as to its accuracy or the reliability of the sources used for its preparation. RBC Wealth Management, a division of RBC Capital Markets Corporation, Member NYSE/FINRA/SIPC.
